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News for anxiety on Wednesday 3 Sep 2014

Are Some People Born Lucky or is it Just an Attitude of Mind ? (Lifestyle Therapy)

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist. She works with clients to improve attitude, perspective and confidence levels, to change unwanted habit patterns and to become more positive in their day to day lives. See www.lifestyletherapy.net for more information.

Athletes are classic examples of people who dare to lose, in their determination to win. If we consider a high jumper. A high jumper only knows that they have achieved their maximum potential when they fail to achieve that jump, and fail repeatedly. They keep on and on trying and believing that they will succeed until they either achieve that height, only to then raise the bar, or fail and so keep on trying until they cannot try anymore.

The famous golfer, Jack Nicklaus, when asked how lucky he felt to be so successful, replied that the more he practised the luckier he got ! This is very true. Belief, determination and motivation all feature heavily in successful peoples' strategies. That, and a commitment to hard work.

Many people say that we create our own luck. But the fact is, the way that we treat set backs, limitations, other peoples attitudes to us, are all very significant. Some people have at the back of their minds obstacles, limitations, other priorities or modifiers to success. So their heart and enthusiasm may not be truly in the project or challenge. In a situation like this, some questions that we need to stop and ask ourselves are, how much do I want this, what else matters in my life ? For some people saying that they tried and had a go is satisfying enough.

Some people really enjoy working hard. It defines who they are, how they spend their time. They may well have concerns that if they succeed, what will they do next. This is a not uncommon way of hi-jacking success. For these people the journey itself is more important and valuable than the destination and outcome.

Some people feel that they do not deserve to succeed or be lucky. Accepting that 'good things can and do happen to people like me', can be a real mindset change. Our perspective, resolve, desire and motivation all impact on the 'luck' and good fortune that we attract into each situation. Turning self belief and self worth around into a feeling that success and good results are deserved, earned and have been worked for can impact in every area of life.

So much of what we do, think and feel is communicated to other people in non-verbal ways. A persons feelings, attitudes and expectations are conveyed by their stance, their body language, their facial expressions. A high percentage of communication is done non-verbally and this is an important factor in creating our own luck. By sending out either a positive or a negative expectation of a good result is what we are attracting back to ourselves.

Visualisation of a good result can help. See yourself as you would like to be. The outcome that you would really want. Sportspeople practice over and over in their minds to get themselves in that positive zone, where they are really feeling, experiencing as they are taking that shot successfully.

Use positive language to yourself. So many people talk to themselves more harshly than they would ever talk to another person. It is important to avoid negative self talk. Try saying reasonable rather than fantastical things to yourself. Saying things like, 'I can do this', 'I am worth this', 'I deserve this success', 'I have earned this', are all reasonable things to say that will keep ourselves focussed and on track.

And not forgetting that sometimes 'bad' luck can turn out to be good and vice versa. Sometimes not getting the job or the house that we wanted may turn out for the best, when something better comes along. Or sometimes the 'good' luck brings with it changes in life, in unfortunate ways and we end up losing more than we gain. Some lottery winners have found themselves rueing the day that they won the jackpot and sometimes people have said that being made redundant was the best thing that happened to them as they were forced into doing something new and different.

For further information: Are Some People Born Lucky or is it Just an Attitude of Mind ?

Lifestyle Therapy
3 Alstone Drive
Oldfield Brow
Altrincham
Cheshire
WA14 4LD
United Kingdom
Website http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Telephone 0161 928 7880
News Ref:1881


The Anxiety of Public Speaking. (Lifestyle Therapy)

Susan Leigh is a South Manchester based Counsellor and Hypnotherapist, and a regular contributor to BBC Radio. She regularly works with professionals to help them cope better with stress and anxiety in their business and personal lives. Presentations, media exposure, speeches and interviews are now a large part of business life, and helping clients to maximise these opportunities is an important part of her skill set. For futher information please visit www.lifestyletherapy.net

What is it about interviews, presentations, best man's speeches, that can turn highly rational, skilled professionals into a fearful state of stress and anxiety ? I have worked with many professionals to help them deal with this problem.

A typical example of a client is the sports professional who is used to playing in a team situation, but is now moving into doing pundit work in the media or at sportsman's dinners. He is used to being part of a team situation, but becomes nervous and stressed when the spotlight is on him as an individual. Another example is the musician who plays beautifully in the orchestra, but who really struggles when asked to perform solo.

An interesting example was a very successful businessman who could not do presentations to his staff. He became panic stricken and immobile at the prospect of updating his staff on any matter. He realised how irrational and illogical his reaction was - he owned the company -and yet he could do nothing to overcome the stress and anxiety he felt at these times.

We decided to use a combination of Counselling and Hypnotherapy as a way of treating both the conscious and unconscious behaviour patterns. Through this work he realised that a huge part of his fear dated back to childhood and an unpleasant experience that he had had in a classroom situation. His teacher had asked him a question, he had given a wrong answer, the other children had laughed and he had felt foolish and humiliated. Thereafter, every time when he went back into that classroom the same fear and dread was being reinforced - is it going to happen to me again ?

That fear and dread can stay with a person throughout their life, being reinforced over and over again, whenever they anticipate a similar situation occuring. Our unconscious response is to try and avoid or evade the stress and anxiety of being humiliated again, and so we try to do everything possible to get out of the situation, even though consciously we may well be telling ourselves, it is fine, I can do this, I know my stuff, this is important, I need to do it.

Hypnotherapy heals the unconscious mind by allowing that old learning to be let go of and to now appreciate that the present, older person is knowledgeable, successful and capable, and knows what to do and how to handle stress and anxiety.

Techniques can also be taught to reinforce confidence and self belief : Self Hypnosis, to visualise how a person wants to be, how they can really see themselves in that presentation situation, calm, relaxed and focussed, enjoying the opportunity to do well ; Perhaps linking in with some affirmations to say to themselves at key moments - I can do this, I am good, I know my subject, and so on.

Also practical hints, like getting to the room early, familiarising oneself with the layout of the room, where people will be sitting, so that there are no surprises. Ensuring that any technical equipment is working, having a glass of water handy, knowing where to put any notes, all helps in feeling confident and relaxed. Then, once the presentation starts, finding three or four friendly faces in the audience, in different parts of the room, and talking to them in turn, helps in feeling more relaxed and in control of what is happening.

Remember, no one knows what the speaker should have said, so if it doesn't quite go to plan, who's to know ? And also, how often has a member of the audience felt sympathy or extra supportive towards a speaker who has been nervous but persevered on through those nerves ? They are the people who often get the biggest round of applause.

For further information: The Anxiety of Public Speaking

Lifestyle Therapy
3 Alstone Drive
Oldfield Brow
Altrincham
Cheshire
WA14 4LD
United Kingdom
Website http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
Telephone 0161 928 7880
News Ref:1530


Free Anxiety Management Classes in North Derbyshire (Grapevine Project)

Buxton based mental health charity, Grapevine Project, is running FREE Anxiety Management Classes.

The classes are run by two qualified counsellors and look into what anxiety is and isn't and provide a wide range of tools to help people cope with their anxiety and panic.

In addition, Grapevine Project offers a wide range of help for people with mental health problems including books on prescription, Beating the Blues cCBT and one-to-one counselling.

More details are available by calling Jayne on 01298 72283 or by visiting www.grapevineproject.org.

For further information: Free Anxiety Management Classes

Grapevine Project
4 St James Terrace
Buxton
Derbyshire
SK17 6HS
United Kingdom
Website http://www.grapevineproject.org
Telephone 01298 72283
News Ref:1059



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